I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
