hell yes lets make some ravioli
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
