lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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