six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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