Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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