was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
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