roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
