Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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