Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
