trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Randomize
