he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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