can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
