Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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