it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Randomize
