ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
She's the barista slut.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
