I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Randomize
