Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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