i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
