I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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