I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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