I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Randomize
