How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Randomize
