His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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