if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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