I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
