hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
