That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize
