I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
