nut hugger
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
