He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
