I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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