How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
