Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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