we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
