Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
We have so much sex to catch up on
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
