Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
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