Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize
