you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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