i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Shame - the story of my life.
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