Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
