come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
