Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
