I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
