I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
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