Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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