He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
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