I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
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