Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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