i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
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