I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Randomize
